Battle Weary

I just came home from small groups at my youth pastor's house and I don't know about anyone else, but my heart was extremely heavy all night. Ever since I came home from Montana, I have felt this foreboding all most, this intensity that I couldn't put a finger on, but after talking to people and being around for a couple weeks, it is evident that we are fully endrenched in war. This is nothing new I know, but I can really feel the tightening of time and an urgency so thick it's hard to breathe at times. A younger friend of mine has confided in me some things that he and others his age are encountering with each other on a daily basis and it has not been that long since I was his age and I never dealt with the types of things that he is, and it just struck me how things are progressively getting worse within the world. Which once again, this should be no shock because the Bible says how things will get worse in the last days, I guess I just have lived in "happy christian fluffy bliss" for most of my life and not given much thought to the entire world.
My head hurts from the exhausting cycle it goes through every single day. I have woken up over the past year. I see the world like never before. I hurt for people like never before. And I know this is not just me, I know that others are searching, seeking, finding, losing, hurting right along with me, maybe not openly but in their own way. I have a tendency to think that I am all alone in my struggles, doubts, questions, fears, hopes, but I think others are waking up also, I think it spreads worldwide. I have come to realize the things that I used to think matter, don't, and that the world's view of christians is seriously screwed up by "christians" who don't know Christ from a hole in the ground.
How did it come to this? How can we get it turned around?
I have decided that talking is great, but it doesn't go very far. Especially in a day when the people you thought you knew, are no longer recognizable, and lies fly around in unfathomable numbers.In order to change the world, we have to change, and let others notice something different within us.
I am so frustrated. This raging within me, I can't put into words that make any sense. I feel a huge despair that I am not capable of changing the life of another with my own. That everything I ever believed is questionable and not a closed, factual, neatly wrapped little package. That time seems to stretch for so long, and then, the time I am in is slipping away faster than I can handle. People are too busy to see one another, everything is accepted and no longer challenged, God, where does it end?
And yet at the same time, I feel a joy like I never knew was possible, a hope that carries me through, a love for people that I didn't know existed, and a faith strong enough to conquer.
There is so much more.
God wake us up, shake us to the core, reveal yourself.