My life seems to drag on so slowly and yet, at the same time, it's whipping by so fast I feel like I'm missing something. How is that possible?
I wish I knew.
I used to feel like I could handle anything. I was so strong and level headed and I still am for the most part but here a lot lately it just seems that things are so overbearing, if that makes any sense. I have been really quiet and spent a lot of time by myself. It seems like everywhere I look, everyone is so drenched in drama, selfishness, just wrapped up in little things that don't matter and the sad part is they just can't see it! Sometimes I just want so badly for people to look a little farther than what is sitting right in front of them and realize that there is a whole world out there. Not just the little bubble of materialism that is so easy to wrap around ourselves. And I wish that friendships were more like they used to be. When you would defend your friend, and love them even though they had different thoughts and opinions, and pray for them, and actually care about them and their lives. I know that this still exists but I don't see it I guess. And I am a really, really sarcastic person but sometimes, it just gets to be too much and all I need to hear is something real. I just have to wonder if the dreams I have that are far away and right now, will ever be more than just that. Dreams. Do I paint things up so wonderfully that no one can ever compare to it? Or are we missing something?
I just want true, confident, friendships and fervent prayers, and happiness and unity.
Nights like tonight, I am ready to give up and say there is no way these things will ever be there. But I know tommorow, the sun will rise again and my God will still be faithful. I am ashamed to feel the things that I just wrote but thankfully my Jesus loves me just the way I am.